Why Do Women Have To Hide Their Sexuality? I Don’t Play That Game…..

For years women have had to hide their sexuality from everyone.  If they are in the least bit sexual, man kind sees them as loose, sluts, or whores.  Oh no, if you wear your skirt to short or your blouse to low!  Oh no, if most of your friends are males and not females!  Oh no, if you can talk openly about sexual things without blushing……

When I was a Freshman in high school I got the reputation of being a ‘slut’.  Yes, I had been with a couple of guys, obviously since I became pregnant with my daughter at 14 and had her at 15, but I wasn’t anywhere from being a slut.  I remember rumors going around about me that I had slept with this guy or that guy and they weren’t even true.  I should know because I wasn’t in attendance to those sexual encounters they were talking about.  It got so bad at one point that I actually had a couple of girls, (I’ll keep their names out of this, but they know who they are and I have since forgiven them), who used to torment me.  Bullying I think that we call it now-a-days.  They, as well as everyone else that was involved with these rumors, made my Freshman life a living Hell, but I overcame it eventually and it made me a much stronger person in the long run, and as the years went by I realized that I would always be a target for rumors off and on, and by about the age of 35 didn’t give a flying you know what any longer.  I realized that it wasn’t a curse, but  a path in which to make me a stronger person.

Some people have told me that I ‘ooze sexuality’.  I don’t mind when people say that about me, and I take it as compliment, but what is the term ‘oozing sexuality’ really?  I suppose it’s a person with a lot of sex appeal.  Now that does not necessarily mean that they are the greatest looking people all the time, but it’s in the way they move, it’s the way they know how to use the right body language, it’s the way how they feel confident within themselves.  This person could be of average looks really but with a sparkling personality, with a good self esteem, who knows how to show of his or her best assets. I suppose, as a woman, they will have an attractive body.  Maybe a woman with curves in all the right places like Christina Hendricks. She may have average looks otherwise, but is possible that she would know how to make the best of the looks that she has, she knows what flatters her, what hairstyle, what clothes, and takes care to dress to impress without necessarily being conceited or arrogant, because she knows that that is a turn off.  She would be natural, but self confident in her own skin and have a great sense of humor.  Confidence is key here, but there is also just something that oozes that confidence to a level that just turns a person on.  Maybe it’s pheromones, who knows, but you can just tell and you’re attracted to that person and you just don’t know why.  That’s ‘oozing sexuality’.  It’s not a bad thing, it’s a good thing, but people will hate you for it, be jealous of you, and say things about you to make themselves feel better.

Now maybe it sounds like I’m being conceited, but I don’t feel that I am really.  I’m just being me…..confident me.

Now back to the point I was first trying to make…..women and sexuality.

This morning I put a video on Facebook by Rihanna called S&M.  Now at first I was like, “if I post this people might think that I’m into S&M and that’s why I posted it”.  I caught myself once again being 14 year old Trisha instead of confident 43 year old Trisha.  I mean what the Hell, if people want to think of me that way then let them, right?  It’s a good catchy song, that’s why I like it.  The video itself is pretty raunchy, but so what?  We’ve all at one time been both a submissive and/or a masochist, and I’m not just talking about sexual encounters, I’m talking about in life.  Who’s to say that Rihanna’s video means that she is into sexual S&M?  Maybe she is making an entirely different point.  If you really watch the video you’ll see that there are people portraying the media, that she is wrapped up in newspapers that are spreading rumors.  Maybe she’s tired of being the submissive to all of their lies about her and is finally ready to come out and take control of her life?  Maybe that’s what it’s really about.  “She may be bad, but she’s perfectly good at it” and “sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me” are just metaphors that no matter what you say about her she is a strong woman who oozes sexuality and she ‘gets off’ on the rumors instead of letting them get her down.

But you see, that’s my point…..she is a woman who is expressing an outwardly sexual presence and we are immediately judging her instead of really looking into what is really going on with her in this video, or within her life.  This is what happens when a woman is sexually charged.  It happened to me.  I get it.

Take for instance Samantha Brick who is having  to defend herself against the internet storm provoked by the article she wrote claiming women hate her because she is beautiful.

When will we as a society stop judging women like the whores and sluts, and start seeing them as confident beautiful beings?  I don’t know the answer to that question, but I do know one thing for certain, I’m not changing for anyone because I am finally loving me for who I am.  I’m a lady, a woman, a mother, and a wife……

Until next time…..