At the gym in my complex there is a view of the main pool. As I worked out on the dreaded elliptical machine I observed some people around the pool. Not just a casual observation, mind you, but an observation mainly on how women act around the pool.
It’s interesting if you really watch. You can tell the women who are confident opposed to the women who aren’t. Mind you, I haven’t been so confident when it comes to my body, but I’m getting better as I age. At 45 I’ve got fat in places I never had it before, cellulite, wings, dimples, etc. I’m far from perfect, but I’m learning to except it and my mind is learning to not demolish my spirit by telling it not so nice things about my physical self.
When we are in our 2o’s and 30’s (but especially our 20’s), we have tight little bodies, but as we age it’s really a lot harder to keep in shape and keep our muscle definition like it was when we were younger. Our skin starts to sag and our body begins to droop and eventually we are to old to really care. Now I’m still young enough to care, but not as concerned as I used to be. That being said, I grew up very self conscious (still am a bit), I was never comfortable in my skin when I was young. I wasn’t fat, in fact I had a nice little shape. But for some reason I hated my body. I struggled with Bulimia at one point and wasted so many days of my life worrying about not looking good enough to go in public in my bikini. Never going out for a swim with everyone else because I was too concerned about what everyone thought of my body. Now that I’m older I know that the majority of people don’t even notice you anyway and could care less what you look like and I just could slap myself for not having more fun.
Many young women think they are fat or ugly when they are at the prime of their lives when it comes to their physical bodies and what I saw today really made me sad.
There were these other two young 20 something women who walked up to lay out and they weren’t as confident. Not just the body language, but the way they looked around at everyone else sizing themselves up to all the other women. One left her shirt and shorts on till she sat down and then proceeded to take off her shorts and shirts while sitting so that nobody would see her body as she undressed. How do I know this? I did they same thing. The other girl left her sun dress on for a bit and then slowly took it off finally getting down to her bikini. She seemed a bit more confident. These two girls had nice bodies, sure they weren’t what society says is perfect, but to me they were beautiful. I just wanted to go up to them and tell them how beautiful they were and to never be ashamed of your body! Quit acting so shy and let those beautiful bodies fly! It’s interesting though how the men reacted to these young women. They were being checked out by a lot of men, but the sad thing is I don’t think they noticed. Hopefully someday these young women will quit being girls and start being women. They will start to love themselves for who they are now and not care what society thinks they should be.
I’ve been told many times in my life that I’m beautiful. Sometimes I don’t believe it, but like my husband says “if enough people have told you that then maybe there’s some truth to it.”
We need to learn to be comfortable in our own skin ladies. Quit worrying about what everyone thinks of us. Trust me, if someone is judging you then they aren’t worth your time anyway. Those people aren’t confident, in fact those kind of people are some of the most unconfident people you will meet. We should be building each other up ladies, not putting each other down, especially our daughters.
Until next time…
This was well said and written, Tricia. I use to be shy as well and there were times where I was very self conscious and I was like those girls at the pool. I would come in my bikini and want to swim and lay out, but it would take me awhile to take my clothes off. But I did. I developed early in life, and that made it even harder for me, as most of my friends didn’t have much of anything and I thought people were laughing at me because I had a growing chest.
As I have gotten older, I realized that a lot of what I use to be uncomfortable about, really doesn’t matter. I’m not a judge mental person, and never have been, but I can see now a days, that a lot of people judge because, I think they aren’t comfortable in their own skin. I think it’s a growing process.
I actually enjoy getting older, because I’m learning to except myself and my looks and not to worry what people think or say. The wrinkles, the sags, the skin changing, grey hairs, etc, it’s all part of life. I choose to embrace what is around me and the people in my life, then to worry about others thoughts about me.
Well said Trisha and Jake! I had the same thoughts when I was in my 40’s. I was in the best shape I have ever been in while in my 40’s. So true about not worrying about the way you look as you get older. I am almost 71, still want to look nice, but don’t stress over it. My husband loves me just the way I am. That’s what is important, besides loving yourself just the way you are.